Jack and the High Cost of Living
by Bellebet
Summary: What really happened to Jack during the 2000 years he was buried? A crossover with Gaiman's Sandman. Please review!
1. Pints and Graves

Standard disclaimers apply. This is a work of fan fiction. I do not own any of the copyrights.

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"He doesn't mind the quiet now. Have you noticed that?" Ianto asked Gwen. "Before Grey and John and Cardiff about to be destroyed, the quiet times made him nervous."

Gwen sipped her pint and nodded. "I'm sure constantly dying for two thousand years would do that to a person. All he had was death and himself. He was forced to get used to having nothing else there. That or go mad."

Ianto stopped tearing off the soggy bits of his bar napkin and looked at his co-worker. "Do you think he did?"

"Did what?"

"Do you think he went mad?" Ianto couldn't meet Gwen's eyes as he asked the question. He was ashamed for even asking it, but the words had tumbled out of his mouth before he could catch himself. It was obvious that Ianto had thought quite a bit about this very topic.

Gwen had no answer for him. Personally, she couldn't fathom what being completely alone would do to a person for a week, never mind millennia. Throw the fact that Jack couldn't die into the mix and his sanity would have certainly taken a beating. Grey, Jack's murderous, long-lost brother, had buried him under the future city of Cardiff with the sole purpose of driving Jack mad. Did Grey get what he wanted? Gwen wasn't sure. No one in Torchwood had been acting "normal" since Tosh and Owen had died.

She sighed. "I just don't know. I hope not." This wasn't quite the answer Ianto was hoping for. He needed Gwen to be optimistic. He needed to be reassured that everything, that Jack, would be all right. He didn't need any more uncertainty to be added to his own doubts. He didn't want to doubt his friend, his lover, yet here he was, sniffling into a pint that had long ago gone flat.

"Come here." Gwen pulled her friend closer and let him lean on her shoulder. "I cried yesterday. It's your turn." Ianto's sniffling slowly turned into a slow stream of tears as Gwen made soothing noises. "All we can hope for is that some higher power showed him mercy somewhere along the way. Maybe he couldn't feel a thing."

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Jack felt everything. He had died and revived at least two hundred and sixty times since his brother Grey and ex-lover John had buried him in the foundations of future Cardiff. He felt every painful breath that wrenched him from death, every sharp intake that was clogged with rock and dirt, every insect that crawled over his flesh looking for a feast. He felt the panic flood his mind as he realized where he was and what had happened. And he felt the utter despair as he felt his body slowly die all over again. He didn't even have time to wonder what was happening to his team now that Grey had them all to himself.

However the two hundred and sixty-first time was decidedly different. As Jack woke gasping for air, his lungs were free and he could actually breathe. His mind scrambled to understand why this time around was different. Cautiously, he opened his eyes, knowing that they should be unable to open with all the dirt weighing down on him.

When Jack found out he **could** open his eyes, he was even more surprised that a lovely pair of violet eyes stared back at him. He blinked, and forced himself to blink again. Nope, the eyes were still there, laughing at some secret Jack was not privy to. They belonged to a teenage girl, dressed all in black. She almost reminded him of Gwen, if she had gone through a goth phase in her youth.

"Hi, R--! Or should I say, Jack. You prefer Jack now, right?" She bounced on the heels of her feet like a certain Time Lord he knew.

"How do you know my real name?" He had expected his voice to be hoarse after screaming into dirt for what seemed like forever, yet it still had it's normal timbre. "Are you a Time Agent?"

The goth girl laughed. "Hardly! And the reason I know who you are is because I was there when you got it. I know everybody. And I know what Grey's done. Is doing. I could never get the hang of verb tenses with time travel."

"Then send me back!" Jack sprang to his feet and advanced on the girl. "If you have the power, send me back. My team's in trouble!"

"Yeah, that's the thing," the girl said. "I don't have that power. Maybe Destiny does, but he has this whole 'by the book' attitude, and he won't help, just watch as things unfold. Technically, you're still down there." She pointed to the mound of dirt Jack had been sitting on. "You're about to choke on the same clod of dirt again."

Jack looked as his burial mound, then back at the girl. This wasn't making any sense."Then how am I--?"

"How are you up here talking to me? Well, I'm doing you a favor, since I'm the face you see more than anyone else." She held out a slender hand to shake Jack's. "I'm Death, by the way.


	2. Dirt and Deals

Standard disclaimers apply. All characters copyright of their respective owners. Please review!

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Captain Jack Harkness was a hard man to surprise. He was a former Time Agent that had been to the end of the universe and back. He had seen the twentieth century in its entirety. He had snogged a Time Lord in his own TARDIS, and had been brought back to life by his best friend. He had fought Weevils, Cybermen, and demons bent on destroying the Earth. He lived a year that never happened. He had a younger brother that was bent on destroying all Jack held dear. By this point in Jack's life, there was very little that could shake him up.

Of course, this was all before the young lady in front of him introduced herself as Death.

Jack visibly paled. "What do you mean 'You're Death'? Do you mean you're my death? The Angel of Death?"

"No, I'm Death. With a capital D." Death smiled. She always got this question. It stopped bugging her hundreds of millions of years ago when she accepted that it was just part of why she loved people in the first place.

"So, is this my final death? You know, since you're here?" He thought about being buried beneath the future site of Cardiff and shivered.

"Jack," Death smiled. "I'm there for every time you die. You just don't remember."

"Oh, no! I remember all right. All there is is darkness. I think I'd remember a cutie like you. Even Owen and Suzie said that it's all dark."

Death scowled. "Firstly, Suzie's a bitch. I didn't trust how calmly she went after the first time, and I certainly don't like her after the second time I collected her. And secondly, Owen's lying through his teeth." She composed herself and went on. "People aren't meant to remember, Jack. That's why most near-death experiences are vague. It's just the way you're built."

"We've met?"

"Yes."

"Have I ever told you how cute you are?" Jack turned on the old Harkness charm and stepped closer, inches from the girl.

She grinned. "Every time. But it never gets old."

"Have I ever kissed you?" His eyes sparkled with mischief.

Death danced lightly out of his path. "You've tried. It doesn't work on me, Harkness. Now focus, I have a proposition for you."

She walked over to the mound of dirt where Jack was supposedly still buried. "I can't travel through time. That's not part of what I can do. So you're going to have to wait right here," Death tapped on the loose dirt "For about two thousand years."

"I'm not thrilled with this proposition so far. How is this a good thing?" Jack frowned.

"Let me clarify: you're physical body is going to have to wait here for two thousand years. Which is a real pain, not only for you, but also for me since you're just going to keep dying. This means that part of me is going to have to stick around here for two thousand years as well. Granted, I'm everywhere at once, but I really don't like dividing my attention this way."

"You're saying that me dying for two thousand years is cramping your style!"

"Well, I wouldn't put it that way, but since **you** did…"

"Just great. Just frickin great." Jack tried to kick the pebble that was near his boot, but his foot went right through it.

Death marched right up to Jack and poked him roughly in the chest. "Would you stop brooding and listen? I've never offered this to anyone before, and with your attitude, I probably will never offer this again. Now, do you want to be able to get back to 2008 or not?"

"Absolutely!"

"Okay then! Here's the deal: your body stays here and keeps doing what it's doing, but we take your mind out of the picture. You stay with me, at my place for a while." Jack brightened at the thought. "On my couch, so don't get any racy thoughts. And when someone gets close to digging you up, we come back here and put you back so you can wake up properly without a mouthful of dirt."

"Death has a couch?"

"I think you're missing the point here, Jack. Are you interested? Because it's either this, and we have a good time and watch some old movies on my TV, or I leave you here, you get a very cranky and bored Death every time you wake up and very possibly visits from my sister, who can play games of 'I Spy' that can last centuries because only she can see the things she tries to get you to guess. Either way, you have to wait."

Jack flashed another million-watt grin."How can I deny a cute girl who wants to watch movies with me? Lead the way."


End file.
